Mental Health Poems
What if?
What if the dream isn’t right after all?
The thing that I’m chasing is destined to stall?
Should I listen to my heart? To its moan and its whine?
Or dash away quickly lest it tarnish my shine?
Take my head out the clouds
And stop craving fool’s gold
What if to walk away is more bold?
What if the dream is the thorn in my side?
I need to gently extract it
And cast hopes aside?
What if I lift up the anchor
And sail out to sea
Off into the horizon
Finally free?
See what journey kismet takes me on
Let it decide my destiny’s song.
What if I let fate take the reins?
Let it unlock the fetters
And unshackle the chains
Unbridled by need
And obsessive desire
To let go of the dream to which I aspire.
Tired of forever holding my breath
Waiting and wanting then feeling bereft
Each spurn another twist to my heart
Is it time to let the cruel lover depart?
And Still the Earth Spins
When there’s a sadness in your heart that won’t depart,
And an aching in your chest you daren’t express,
When your world feels empty
And nothing’s going right,
Try to see that tiny slither of light:
A kind message from a friend,
A stranger’s smile,
A dog’s wagging tail
Never fails to beguile.
The sparkle of stars
So far yet so near,
A celestial reminder of why we’re all here.
When there’s a sorrow in your eyes you can’t disguise,
A well of tears ever ready to overspill,
When the days feel so long
And you can’t carry on
Breathe, my friend and let yourself feel:
A cool winter’s breeze,
The rain on your face,
The warmth of the sun,
A loved one’s embrace.
The beat of your heart
Reminds us we’re still alive
Each breath that you take,
Another step to survive.
When all hope is lost
And happiness, a dream
The people around us
Just not what they seem,
When your head is foggy
Your thoughts dark and unclear,
Take another deep breath
And listen to what you hear:
The chattering of chums,
The gossiping gulls,
The laughter of children
That never gets dull.
The hum of car engines,
Crunch of footsteps on leaves,
The babbling stream
And the rustling trees.
When your world seems to be crumbling;
You can’t see a way out,
Think of the things that are never in doubt:
The smell of fresh coffee,
Of early morning dew,
The aroma of burnt toast
Or gran’s homemade stew.
The taste on your tongue as you relish each bite,
The softness of child’s skin
As you kiss them goodnight.
The World still spins
Even when we’re standing still,
Know that you’re loved
And love how that feels.
The future’s unknown
But you’re never alone,
The World needs you my friend,
Let Her strength guide you home.
Anxiety – A Lockdown Lament
Fear of the oppressing walls I abide
Fear of the maddening crowds outside
Fear of needing distance, a little more space
Fear of no comfort, no loving embrace
Fear of doing wrong, judged by those I revere
Fear of not standing up for things I hold dear
Fear of how others unfairly perceive me
Fear of the good person I endeavour to be
Fear of going out always wearing a smile
Fear of friends seeing it slip for a while
Fear of being in the depths of my mind
Fear that not thinking enough won’t bring kind
Fear of bottling emotions inside of me
Fear of exposing my mind for the world to see
Fear of hearing the daily news update
Fear of the unknown, ever-changing state
Fear of slowing down, of mundane routine
Fear of rushing about here, there, in-between
Fear of returning to a disjointed reality
Fear of staying in a world that lacks clarity
Wings clipped for so long, finally set free
And yet here I stay in the comfort of me.
Absent friends
Tis the season to be jolly
Forced, false cheer amidst the folly
The time of year when I miss you most
Ever the dapper, dazzling host
I was once too the life and soul
This year my spirit is dampened whole
Bereft of your touch and your listening ear
of dancing, glamour and festive cheer.
Longing for family and friendships lost
Those that are distant, fractured or simply forgot
I toast to you my absent friends
Ever present in my mind and heart
May we meet again some sunnier day
In a future that won’t keep us apart.
It all makes sense now…
The lack of focus and concentration
The effort to process information
The boredom and demotivation
The confusion and disorientation.
The need for validation and affirmation
The requirement of re-explanation
The craving connection and stimulation
The abject discomfort of confrontation.
The distractibility, unclarity of thought
The memory loss when the mind’s overwrought
The self-questioning and over-analysis
The indecision and choice paralysis.
The inability to think on the spot
The recollection of answers so easily forgot
The excessive talking and enthusing
The mixed-up signals baffling, confusing.
The wretched feeling of rejection
The disappointment and dejection
The absence of identity, struggling to fit in
The speaking without thought, saying the wrong thing.
The overdoing it, the fear of missing out
The high expectations casting so much doubt
The relentless planning, constant thrill-seeking
The irritation of poor time keeping.
The catastrophising and fearing the worst
The sense of despair when the bubble is burst
The frustration when plans suddenly change
The lack of drive to rearrange.
The demand to be fair and consistent
The tendency to be over-persistent
The quest for perfection, the inner critique
The intolerance for mistakes, seeing these as weak.
The intense highs and the suffering lows.
The inability to cope with the blows.
The tears which threaten to overspill
The reactiveness outpouring against one’s will.
The quick-witted over-sharing,
The exhausting over-caring,
The good intentions over-bearing,
The non-reciprocating is wearing.
The overwhelm and fatigue.
The restless mind and body weary.
Finally it all makes sense to me,
This nuanced world of ADHD.
Lady in the Fog
I see you there
With your empty stare.
I see the sadness behind your dark eyes
I know how you manage to smile through your cries.
I feel the loneliness you wreak
Understand the comfort that you seek
The soft fur of a dog, the warmth of the sun
Anything to remind you that life still goes on.
And to desperately feel some joy that is gone.
You’re there, but not there,
This reality, just a dream
Trying to find your way through the fog;
Yet no sound comes out when you scream.
I hear your quiet sobs behind your dark lens
Your utterances of ‘I’m fine’
Trying to fade away
Get through another day
But others don’t know what to say.
And one by one they drift away.
When we’re sailing, flying high
We don’t want to be dragged down from that blue sky
Come back when you’re on the same path as me
Don’t let your sadness darken my glee.
Quiet the noise
Quiet the noise
Still the drum
Silence the drill
With its incessant hum.
Stall the engine
Halt the train
Stop the clock
Of my ticking brain.
Mute the bells
Deafen the ring
Calm the storm
And its thunderous din.
Hush the hubbub
Put it to bed
Quell the unrest
Of the voice in my head.
Panic
One.
Heart is racing, feet are pacing
Side to side, side to side
Rapid breath taking
in, in, in.
My mouth is dry.
I’m going to die
I’m going to die.
Two.
Can’t see clearly, everything’s bleary
Feeling fearful, anxious, tearful
Stomach is churning, chest is burning
Can’t catch my breath, can’t catch my breath…
Teeth are chattering, heart is battering
Pound, pound, pound.
Fists clenching, body wrenching
Chest tightening, everything’s frightening
Am I going to die?
What if I die?
Breathe, breathe, breathe.
Three.
Fingers are tingling, senses intermingling
Shivering, sweating, shaking, quaking
Feel like I’m breaking
Legs are trembling, my body dissembling
Where am I? Who am I?
Hands over ears, blocking out fears
Body swaying, gradually fraying
This will pass.
This will pass.
Breathe. Breathe.
Four.
Breathing subsiding
Though fear is abiding
Feeling calmer, clearer
Reality is nearer.
Breathe.
Five.
Body exhausted, mind overwrought
Utterly spent. Another battle is fought.